This is not about playing silly mind games. That said if you truly feel super confident and have no, I mean absolutely zero expectations, for the outcome of the text?
Then yes, by all means feel free to send him a message. But a word of warning. Most men will likely respond to your text. As it takes very little effort and investment for them to do so. The truth is men value what they put work into. The answer to whether you should text him after the first date depends on what actions you took while on the date. Generally I recommend showing sincere appreciation to the guy at least twice while on your date.
This looks like, once while in the middle of the date. Then again at the end. Then leaving it at that. No follow up text at all. However, if you forgot to thank him on the date. Or if you just genuinely want him to let him know that you had a great time. Then yes go ahead and text him first after your date. Then the ball is in his court, and its up to him to respond. Are you trying to connect in the present moment? Or for another reason, like trying move the relationship forward?
If the relationship is new, most women I speak with want the man to show his interest and pursue them. If its a yes, then go for it! However if your sending for another reason. Which is to have him step up for you.
People get busy, they have lives. You should have a life too. So let him have space and see what he does. And you can move on to a guy that is. You should not feel weird about reaching out to him first after your date. At the same time, do not try to appear over eager in your text to him. Rather than texting him immediately after the date, you can text him a few hours after the date or even the next day.
You can keep your text message to him simple by saying that you enjoyed the date or you can even refer back to an earlier conversation that you had during your date. Whatever you do or say to him, try to remember to keep your text nice and simple.
Also, try to avoid bombarding him with a ton of messages. Remember that you guys are not serious yet and have just been on one date.
If this guy is an ex of yours, then it makes sense that you are not sure whether or not you should be texting him at all. The answer to your question depends on how things ended previously with the two of you.
Have you been in contact with each other since then? First of all, did things end on good terms or did they end badly with this guy? If the relationship ended badly, then you should examine why you even want to talk to him. Is the reason you want to text him because you want to try to win him back?
If you do want him back, then you can let him know, but do not expect him to necessarily say that he wants you back too. If he is over you then you will need to respect his feelings and move on. What if you want to text your ex just to make him feel bad? If things ended poorly with him, then maybe you still have some really bad feelings about the relationship and how it ended. Texting your ex just for this reason might be pointless.
Why bring up bad feelings again with your ex and risk getting yourself upset all over again? Instead of stirring things up with him, try to lean on positive people in your life like family and friends for the support that you need to get over this breakup. Are you wanting to text your ex because you feel like you need some closure?
Do you have some questions to ask him about the relationship or are have you been trying to figure out how things went wrong? If so, then feel free to text him to ask about it. Just prepare yourself for the possibility that he might have some harsh truths for you if he does answer these questions for you. Or he might ignore you or he might tell you that he does not want to talk about it. Whatever he does say, just remember to respect his feelings and his point of view on how things ended.
But after that conversation with him has ended, allow yourself to close the book on this old chapter in your life and try to move on from it. Maybe you need to let your feelings out lately and you have been wondering if you can vent them to this guy. The answer to this question depends on how well you know him.
Have you known him for only a few weeks or have you known him for a lot longer than that? Are you somewhat close to him? If you barely know the guy, then hold off on venting to him. Turn to friends and family instead if you need to let something off your chest. If you have recently gotten into an argument with him, then you might be left feeling unsure as to whether or not you should text him. Before deciding if you should text him, examine the reason why you even want to text him first.
Do you want to text him to tell him off or do you want to text him to check on him and to talk it out? If you want to tell him off, then you are better off not texting him right now. What is the point of texting him if you are angry too and want to make him feel bad when he is already upset? It is better to give himself and yourself time to calm down.
Allow yourself some time and space to think a little bit before you reach out to him to talk and make amends. When you do text him, it should be in a way that is trying to patch things up instead of making them worse. Even if you do express your own feelings, avoid attacking him as you do so. Why do you want to text this guy? Is it because you have something that you want to talk about or do you just want an excuse to talk to him?
There's nothing wrong with that, she assures, but unless you're upfront in your text about what you want from this person or don't want , there's a risk of leading them on if you're not looking for anything more than a late-night cuddle. And, she says, consider this: When you're not feeling so lonely anymore, will you still want that person around? If the answer is no, maybe rethink hitting send.
If you're not so sure, Comaroto says to take a beat and consider your relationship goals. Write down what it is you want. And look, this doesn't have to be a projection of the long term with the wedding bells and 2. Just consider whether you'll look back on this moment and feel regret. And if you're still not sure, give yourself 24 hours to think it over and revisit it.
Maybe your mind's wandering and you're suddenly envisioning traveling the world with this person, having breakfast in bed, the whole shebang. That's sweet and all, but not necessarily a reason to text someone. This can sometimes happens, says Comaroto, when you want someone to be your distraction from reality. So, check in with yourself. Are you daydreaming because you're smitten or because you're trying to to bury other feelings with thoughts of this person?
If it's the latter, Comaroto says to tackle whatever it is you're dealing with head on which, yes, will be uncomfortable. But that's how growth happens. Then definitely send the text. The best way in, says Ann Rosen Spector, PhD, a psychologist in Philadelphia, is to bring up something you talked about during your date.
Or, if nothing really stood out are you sure you want to go on a second date? All rights reserved. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. Yes, guys sometimes wait for you to text first. Remember that every guy is different. While some guys like to make the first move, others are a bit shy.
If he smiles and talks to you, he might like you back. Question 2. He may not realize you like him. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment and ask yourself if he has a reason to think you like him.
For instance, did you smile at him, touch him, or take an interest in his life? If you're always acting shy around him, he might not realize you're into him. He could be looking at his phone wondering if he should text you first! He may be really busy with other priorities. Check how he acts on social media and watch his interactions with other people. Pay attention to his communication patterns to see how much he posts and if he responds to others.
These may be signs he's really busy. He might be shy. Pay attention to how he acts in real life. If so, he might just prefer to let someone else make the first move. Question 3.
He talks about being single or asks about your boyfriend. Listen for these tell-tale signs that a guy is into you. Text him immediately if he starts talking about relationships with you. He's probably into you! I was thinking about our conversation earlier. How did your afternoon go? He makes a lot of eye contact and smiles at you. Track how often he looks at you when you're around each other.
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